Helpless and Useless Cockeyed Style

"I just can't do it all!" This from Mel. It's a usual indicator of a depressed cycle and fatigue for her. She's feeling helpless, hopeless, and useless. There is also nothing I can do for her but listen to her.

I've heard this more and more since I broke my foot. Of course, I have. I'm not mobile and I'm in a state of forced inactivity. That leaves everything up to her. From bringing in the wood to starting and maintaining the wood stove for heat. But, she's  also doing the lion's share of my chores too. She's gathering the kindling, cooking, and keeping track of all the animals. Not that she didn't do it all before I came to live with her, but that was almost two years ago.

Homesteading and self sufficiency are labor intensive. I'm chomping at the bit to pitch in and help. but I can't. Not that I won't, but honestly can't by doctor's orders...nonweight bearing on the fractured foot.

I've looked at various alternatives to alleviate my situation. First there was the Iwalk crutch. This sounded marvelous. A hands free crutch. But it had some serious drawbacks where I was concerned. It depends on having a stable gait and foot balance before use. I have issues with both because of my strokes.Even walking with a quad cane, it would be dicey to use.

Not that I'm totally immobilization, I still have a rollator I can use. It allows me the prop my knee on the seat and use it like a walker. But in a mobile home full of furniture, it's an obstacle course to get around. Then there is the issues of the doors, not all of them are wide enough to fit through like bathroom doors. Being a single-handed gal using a double handed device is doable but not easy. There's a slight step up/down at the front door, and a two-three larger steps up/down at the back door which poses a problem for the rollator being used in this fashion. Sitting on the seat and being short puts me right about nose level to cook in our kitchen. Not exactly safe, but it does give Mel a break from time to time. Using small appliances like the Kichenaid mixer or a crockpot is out of the question. They are over my head to see into. So we are buying bread at the store. Mel now does the shopping too. She hasn't had to step foot into a grocery store in almost two years unless she's wanted to. So she's gathering the coupons, the sales circular, my grocery list, and goes to the store. I usually hear the "I can't do it all!" after one of these excursions too.

Part is selfishness on her part. She's just gotten used to Jo doing it. By doing activities (that I usually do) that she doesn't like or want to do is cutting into "her" time of doing what she wants to do. But the has to be done has to be done regardless. What little I do around this homestead has gone basically unappreciated until now. I mean I'm still paying all the bills since she can't find a job. The luxury of two doesn't apply. Even now, I rarely ask for help for my needs. I just do them except for changing my bedding that's a two handed job with the egg crate topper. That doesn't mean I don't help her doing it, just that I can't do it by myself. But then honestly, don't we all feel this way when our world turns upside down. When we've gotten used to a status quo and it changes?

Nobody truly likes changes including me. I've been railing against my forced inactivity because I want to be doing more. I'm getting bored with watching Netflix, computer time, knitting and spinning. When the temperatures outside rises to the 60s, I want to be out doing things. Pain brings the idea of doing to a screeching halt so I sit some more resting my foot. As far as the last set of x-rays taken, there is absolutely no healing in the fractures in my foot. Don't you just hate doing something (you don't want to do) and getting no results? That's me. So while Mel is going through her "I can't do it all!" So am I.

Y'all have a blessed day!