Mel Surprised Me. Eek!

Mel surprised me this week when she bought groceries! She bought half a smoked ham. Geez, now I've got to come up with a menu for Christmas dinner. I thought to take it easy and just grill some steaks, but this changed what I had in mind. Eek!

How could I fix this mammoth sized piece of meat with no standard oven. We still haven't bought propane for the big stove. I only have three electric stove top eyes to work my magic on.  It's way too big for either the microwave or toaster oven. I know. I'll use the big crockpot. If the lids doesn't close, I'll wrap it with aluminum foil. Bet Mel didn't think that through when she saw the price of the ham.

Now the glaze. Normally, I'd stud it with some pineapple and cloves with a brown sugar and honey glaze, but Mel complained that the ham is too sweet for her tastes. I already made that mistake in the time I've been cooking for her. Yes, she can be a picky eater. I know, I'll do a honey-mustard glaze. After a quick double check of resources, yes, it would work in a crockpot too. That issue was solved. Now, onto the next issues- sides and dessert.

Hmm, what to fix...rummaging around in the freezer I found a bag of spinach. I can work with that. We have no other greens in the freezer. I really wanted my step mother's collards. But I still can't drive yet. The neurologist told me it would be at least six months without a seizure (Feb or Mar) before he'd clear me to drive again. I can make Sauteed Spinach with Mushrooms Garlic and Lemon Zest.

I'm twiddling my thumb and wracking my brain for inspiration to strike on the second vegetable. For someone who requires two vegetables a meal, Mel doesn't really like a wide range of vegetables. Something different. Something special. Something we
hadn't had in a while. I went into the food storage building and scanned the hundred odd jars of produce I'd canned. That's all I have left of the 800+ jars of fruits, vegetables, and meats I canned in 2017. Now, they all fit nicely on the top shelf of each rack. I'm getting worried about our grocery situation. I'm beginning to feel like Old Mother Hubbard when I walk into the stores building. Then, in the back corner, I spy the last jar of canned sweet potatoes. That would work. I can make whipped sweet potatoes with horseradish for a nice zing.

So now, I've got a meat and two vegetables Mel's idea of a diet. Issue solved.

A bread...I could do a skillet cornbread. Nah, I just made that on Sunday. I know... I'll make my Hokkaido milk bread dough and make some Parkerhouse rolls. I can even freeze some before baking for later use. Issue solved.

Now, something sweet for dessert besides the cookies, fudge, chocolate covered cherries, and divinity I made earlier in the week to give to our three closest neighbors. Something sweet, but not too sweet. I found a bag of raw cranberries in our little freezer. We always keep these on hand plus the dried ones up in the cabinet. I can do a cranberry bar with cream cheese frosting. We've got other really sweet things to eat if the desire strikes.  Issue solved.

So the Christmas Dinner Menu at the Cockeyed Homestead 2019 is...

Honey-Mustard Glaze Smoked Ham

Sautéed Spinach with Mushrooms Garlic and Lemon Zest

Mashed Sweet Potatoes with Horseradish

Parkerhouse Rolls with Fresh Butter

Cream Cheese Frosted Cranberry Bars

Okay, now I feel better. That really sounds festive, doesn't it? Thanks for reading and sticking with me as I puzzled out a menu for Christmas dinner. I might even break out Mel's fine china and silver to boot. If Mel can surprise me with a ham for Christmas dinner two days before Christmas, she can at least polish the silver, can't she? No recipes today folks, I apologize. After all, it's not a regular  cooking/recipe sharing day. Y'all have a Merry Christmas!

Y'all have a blessed day!

Cockeyed Jo & Mel

Quail Hutches and Chicken Coops/Run Plans

For the past couple of weeks, Mel has been a busy beaver with the SketchUp program. It's been cold and rainy so instead of trying to work on projects, she's been fine tuning the designs for the quail hutches and the designs for her chicken farm coops. She's also been searching the internet for designs (mostly YouTube) for this and that to make care of these new Cockeyed Critters easier on us. We ain't getting any younger, but maybe a little bit smarter.😉 She tweaked her original designs to incorporate these new elements we liked. I pulled her thumb drive with the pictures to be able to share them with y'all. So you get the first peek!

First up, (because I can 😁) is the new quail set up. We decided to sell extra birds (various stages of life) and the eggs too for eating and hatching. Why not have our efforts pay for themselves like every other critter on our homestead, right?

From our research we decided all hutches would have the following:

• Utilize/reuse our oil drip pans from the rabbit hutches for the quail for their droppings.
• Recycle all 99.9% of rabbit hutches for this project, we might need some new screw or staples.
• ALL cages will have a gravity fed, automatic water system, and bulk feeders. We have leftover cups, PVC and fittings from other projects. Our bulk "J" feeders from the rabbits will work for the quail.
• Dust bathes areas will use sand (leftover from gardening), wood ash from our wood stove, and the extra plastic shoe boxes from our fodder operation will find a new purpose in this. 
• The extra floor tiles from the rabbit cages will be used to allow the birds to get off the wire bottom and serve as the base of the cardboard hide spots. 
• One corner of each cage will have a "wild" area of branches, leaves, and a straw bed for the birds' enjoyment.
• Although each cage has the room for 100 birds, a max number of quail per cage will be 50. 
• To deter rats, snakes and other predators, 5 sides will be 1/2" x 1/2" welded wire. The 6th side is painted plywood. We decided not to slant the floor and configure roll out egg catchers for the very same reason. We configured the doors large enough so that I reach in to grab birds and/or eggs left-handed.
• Instead of wood cross pieces to support the cage floor and litter tray, PVC will be used for easier clean up. 
• Each set of hutches will have an 18-gallon tote underneath it with a 8'x6' tarp for inclimate weather, and at least 10 lbs of food at all times. 
• Each hutch will have a salvaged metal roof for added protection from the weather.

Now onto the pictures!

Breeder cages

 

Brooder/Grow-out/Harvest or Sale Cages

 THE PLAN

The Breeder hutch will house the quail that we'll get our eggs from. They will be eaten, sold as eggs, or sold as fertilized eggs, or incubated for additional stock. It has four cages for abundant supply for each. Although, the first  100 eggs will be incubated for more breeding stock and a start on our own food needs. We'll allow the two weeks of eggs to be eaten or sold to give the males a chance to figure out what's what before incubating the egg harvest. with a ratio of 3 hens to one rooster, the odds of having fertile eggs is greater. Each cage will house 5 roosters and 15 hens even though the cage will hold 40. Who wants to live in a crowded house for two years? We'll be on the look out for excessive fighting and abuse during the first few weeks while they establish their own pecking order. Offender and severely abused quail will be eaten.😈 I will be holding one of the four breeding cages open for suitable replacement birds. These will be the largest birds by full grown weight not on the breeding cages by the same ratio.

The Brooder/Grow-out/Harvest or Sale Hutch will house quail chicks from 4 weeks old to maturity at 6-7 weeks old and serve as holding pen for quail harvest or sale. The plans call for two to be built upon a successful 6 month run of sales of eggs and birds. If the demand market is low, then only one is necessary for homestead needs. The cost of the second cage will be from profits of the business. Quails will be sorted and sexed at 6 weeks old.

• The top cage will have a light, if necessary, for heat and can be closed in on two sides by hanging tarp pieces. (salvaged from large ripped tarp with new sewn edges)
• The middle cage is strictly a grow out cage until the quail reach maturity or harvest weight of at least 8-10 ozs.
• The lowest cage will house extra roosters and hens ready for harvest or sale. These will be 8-12 weeks old. 

Now, onto the chicken.

Cockeyed bunny/chicken barn

Two of our older birds, Miss Greedy Piggy and Goldie (two-year old hens) will be gifted to our local librarian who wants them. She bought a dozen eggs from us every two weeks.We are keeping Broody and Black Butt who are proven to go broody and are good mothers for our homestead flock. They will continue to roost and stay in the bunny/ chicken barn.

They will eventually be joined by a dozen assorted egg layers for homestead egg  and egg sales. These birds will free range. The five chicken we hatched out will be in the bunny/chicken hoop barn with Broody and Black Butt when they reach an appropriate size to introduce them. They'll be our free ranging stock.The five chicken we hatched out will be in the bunny/chicken hoop barn with Broody and Black Butt when they reach an appropriate size to introduce them. A chicken door will be added to lead out to the homestead. We do love our chicken integrating themselves in our daily activities as you can tell from our videos. Eventually, this will be our designated brooding or Americana chicken area. We haven't decided yet.

The first coop and run was built to overwinter our free ranging chicken. It is now vacant and needs some TLC which it will receive.  For the second, new coop and run, we are taking advantage of a past building project, the hoop greenhouse. Though not as big as the bunny/chicken hoop barn, it'll serve its purpose as a grow out area for chicken until they can join their larger companions in the big runs and coops. Since we only have two rabbits now, they'll only require one quarter of their 12'x 26' bunny/ chicken barn for them and all their needs (grooming station, feed, hay, and romp area). That leaves the rest of the space for Broody, Black Butt and whomever we put in there with them.

This is the design Mel came up with for utilizing these hoop barns for chickens. The coop will be built inside of the enclosure with a small run within. When the chickens get bigger and need more space and run will be built off the greenhouse conversion. Notice the small chicken door inside the human door. This will lead to the run area.

The old greenhouse set up will be strictly grow outs. We can add a heat light if the need arises. Mel is thinking about getting her first set of 25 chickens next month and the second set of 25 in March for her initial start up for her farm. By the time the first set of 25 starts laying eggs, the second set can be moved in with them. This will populate the first orchard pen. We'll start buying lots of 25 chicks every year after that too keep the interbreeding mix low for healthier chicks. Meanwhile, we can hatch out our own eggs too to grow her business. Financially, purchasing twenty-five chicks in rotation is a lot more feasible than fifty.

Now for the chicks we hatch out ,be they quail or chickens, Mel designed brooder boxes for them. They are 1 1/2' x 4' x 2' each. They are made from scrap pallet lumber and leftover bits and pieces Mel has in her shop. A lamp can clip on this and still have space to put feeders and waterers. They are small enough for easy clean outs, but big enough to house the birds until they feather out and can be moved to the grow out houses. She can build multiples and they are small enough to fit behind the sofa or anywhere really.

Now Mel has also designed the chicken coop to go into the orchard too! This 8' x 12' x 8' building will be on every other row because it also has storage space built in. Each downward roof angle will be guttered into a gravity fed automatic watering system to service two coops and runs. In the storage area there will be allotted space to gather eggs, stores food, scratch, tools needed to tend the coop and run areas, and straw to clean out two coop areas. It also allows for the tender to get out of the weather which is always a plus. By building two, it cuts our weekly/monthly in half with less wear and tear on our older bodies. We are being kinder to our bodies, instead of traipsing up and down a quarter acre worth of terraces carrying implements, feed, and bales of straw as we work towards raising healthy chickens and eggs.

We are looking to work smarter not harder. This way our yard tractor and cart can move the debris to the compost heap at the end of each run. It can also transport finished compost to where we want it. We'll build a two-stage compost bins out of pallets for the end of each run. I never quite saw the sense in a three compartment system.The beautiful part of this plan is that the building and operating costs of this venture (besides the initial investment) pays for itself and pays it forward as it expands. Each chicken coop and run will house 50 birds for a total of four units. We won't put the big chicken/egg companies out of business, but Mel can earn a nice income from it.

Y'all have a blessed day!

Cockeyed Jo

Cooking with Chef Jo: Christmas Goodies #2

I was a bit late starting this Christmas Goodies posts. I should have started it before Thanksgiving. I'll do better next year with even more party appetizer favorites in my repertoire. I must admit, being a catering specialist in various restaurants over the decades, I literally have a thousand recipes from standard recipes I've made my own by tweaking it here and there. A lot of times I just flat out made up recipes to take advantage of special pricing discounts, or bits and pieces leftover from bigger projects. See, even when working for someone else, I was thinking of ways to reuse, repurpose, and reinvent everything.  This endeared me to my employers and lowered my cost overhead in my own restaurant.

So did any of you guess one of the ingredients of today's goodie? If you said quail, you were right. Now, quail are tiny birds. To be honest, there's not a lot of meat on them other than the breasts. But even the breasts are dark meat so I'm sold on them. There's not a moister, more succulent piece of poultry than dark meat.

Now, I know people who raise quail for their own homestead use who discard the legs because they are too much trouble to harvest. But anything that equals a mouthful should not be wasted. The old waste not, want not mentality is still active in this old girl. Now where we get our locally sourced quail from, thinks the same way. He just keeps the breasts. Well, on butchering days (he'll butcher 25-50 birds at a time), I'll pop over and scarf up his "trash" for literally pennies. The livers, hearts and kidneys make excellent dog treats when dehydrated. The legs, I'll clean them up and use them. Waste not, want not. Sure, they are tiny, and as such, are time consuming to do enough for a meal. It would almost take  20 to make a meal of just quail legs for the two of us. But for carry out appetizers, they are perfect. Remember, appetizers are one to two bites worth. From my recipe box today is...

Grilled Quail Legs Kabobs
20 appetizers (from 10 quails)

What you'll need

20 quail legs
Fresh zest from 1 large lemon
Juice of 1 Lemon
4 TBS butter
4 TBS honey
2 TBS Dijon mustard
salt & pepper to taste

Putting it together

• It's time to make the marinade. In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine butter, lemon juice, honey, and lemon zest. Bring to a boil and remove from the heat. Allow marinade to cool to room temperature.
• Remove the thigh bone from the quail and french the leg. To do this, trim the cartilage where it joins the leg until it's removed. Do the same thing at the ankle joint. With a sharp paring knife, scrap the meat from the bone to 3/4 of the length of the leg. As you can see from the picture, the bone is bare. This technique is called frenching. This is the hardest and most tedious part of this recipe.
• Salt and pepper to taste.
• Bundle up the meat into a ball around the bone end as shown. Hold together with a toothpick,
• Place the frenched legs in a gallon bag and pour the marinade. Squeeze as much air as possible out of  the bag and place bag flat in the refrigerator, turning the bag every so often so all pieces get the benefits of the marinade for a minimum of four hours up until 48 hours.
• Now, the time to get your grill fired up. I prefer charcoal or wood fire over propane. For this, I'll use hickory, cherry or apple wood chips. I'll soak them in water for 6 hours and just throw them on the fire as the quail legs cook.
• While the coals get ready, remove the legs from the marinade and pat them dry. Wrap foil around the exposed bone to keep them from burning.
• Place the legs over the hot coals. Cook for ten minutes covered on each side, brushing on the marinade. The honey (sugar) will get crusty and caramelizes giving the quail legs a rich brown crust.
• This process only takes about thirty minutes to cook these legs well done.
• Remove to a platter and remove the foil.

Serving suggestion- Can be layered around a dipping sauce of honey lemon mustard. The leg bone serves as a handle to grab them with. I guess you could decorate them with tiny chef caps made out of coffee filters, or a small grape or cherry tomato, but I don't bother. Why confuse folks? Especially if Wassail is being served.

Honey Lemon Mustard Dipping Sauce
Makes 1 cup
What you'll need
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup Dijon mustard
3 TBS lemon juice

Mix all ingredients together well and pour into serving bowl. If it's too thick add more lemon juice. If too thin, add mayonnaise.

Now on to a yummy sweet treat for a platter. So many recipes, so little space to choose just one. Hmm, rifling through my recipe file. Something that could be served on a buffet. Something people like. Got it. An old Valentine's day and Christmasy favorite. Remember all those maraschino cherries we made? The ones that were all natural with no dyes or added chemicals. Let's use some of them. I mean we already made them. They're in my pantry.

Chocolate Covered Cherries
48 candies

What we'll need
48 cherries, drained
3 lbs Powdered sugar (low sugar alternative Splenda and cornstarch)
1 lb Dark Semi sweet chocolate, shopped into small pieces
4 oz White chocolate (for drizzling or dipping), chopped into small pieces


That's it. It's that simple, sort of.

Putting it all together

•  Put 3 cups of powdered sugar in a large bowl.
• Add half the cherries. Cover the cherries with the powdered sugar adding more powdered sugar as needed and when adding more cherries to the bowl. You will want the cherries fully coated with powdered sugar. 
• Alternate powdered sugar additions and cherries until all the cherries are well coated by powdered sugar and when left standing for 5 minutes no red bleed through. They are about one and a half times bigger at this point.
• I'm going to teach you how to temper chocolate. It's the kind of covering that is silky smooth and shiny. Don't worry, it's not hard even though it sounds daunting. 
• The key is temperature. Too hot and the chocolate blooms and the finished product looks chalky or seizes up. Too cold and the result won't be a smooth shiny finish. Dark chocolate initially needs to brought up to 120 degrees over a water bath (a bowl over a simmering pot of water). White chocolate is lower at 100 degrees because of the amount of cocoa butter in it. When it reaches that temperature it is removed from the heat source. An instant read thermometer is extremely helpful with tempering chocolate.
• Stir it constantly so the temperature drops evenly to 89 to 90 degrees for dark chocolate and 85 to 89 degrees for white chocolate.
• Be careful when moving the chocolate from the water bath. Any drop of water will seize a whole bowl of melted chocolate.
• You will be moving the chocolate on and off the water bath as you dip to maintain the temperature.
• Now for the fun stuff, dipping your cherries in chocolate!
• I have a marble floor tile I got it from Home Depot years ago for this very purpose. It was in the discounted bin because of a broken corner. I can work around that for a $2 piece of 18"x 18" marble! It can also be frozen for pastry work.
• I spread the tempered chocolate onto this tile to cool down enough (90 degrees) to cover my cherries. But you can easily pour some chocolate in a bowl and use forks or spoons. I coat the powdered sugar covered cherries with the chocolate and place them on a parchment lined baking sheet. I do a thin coating because I'll coat them twice with the tempered chocolate. Don't worry if some of the liquid seeps out after the first coating.
• As a matter of habit, I'll coat all 48 with chocolate and then dip them a second time to seal any cracks. There should be no leakage of red from the candies after the second coat is applied.
• I'll let these chocolate covered cherries sit for 24 hours to allow all the powdered sugar develop into the oozy, sweet liquid that surrounds the cherries, and dribbles down your chin when you bite into one.

You can place  leave them in a covered container on the counter for up to a week. Or, place the container in the

refrigerator for weeks if they last that long. Every time you open the fridge you'll grab one, if you are like me that is. Be aware that once the chocolates go into the refrigerator, they will sweat as they reach room temperature. This will mar the glossy finish.

For a platter, you can just place them all by themselves or you can use them to make Christmas mice. But that's another demonstration and recipe. Or, maybe you can figure it out looking at the picture. I'm honestly sorry this is the last Christmas Goodies post for 2019. Next Wednesday is Christmas!

Y'all have a blessed day!

Chef Jo

To ALL the Homesteaders at Heart

I recently got emails from cyber friends who are living the homesteading dream through our videos, postings, and  my weekly newsy emails. For reasons all their own be it health issues, trapped in the city, or age, they can't break away and start even a micro homestead within their circumstances. They are homesteaders at heart only living vicariously through our adventures. I can honestly remember those days in my own life.

Some buy produce to home can one or two items, or buy an extra bottle of fruit juice to make jellies. Or, make large batches of soups, sauces, and stews to freeze individual servings in a eat now and eat many times later. Or maybe, you're saving those little bits of veg and fruit peelings that you'd compost or you'd feed to your chickens if you has any. You'll recycle and repurpose everything you can to the best you can do just like us. You're a homesteader at heart.

There's nothing wrong with being a homesteader at heart. You might bake your own bread, plant a couple tomato plants in pots, or just dream of homesteading. To be an actual homesteader takes self sacrifice, the ability to move to a patch of land, bear the ups and downs of trying to be more self sufficient. There's a lot of trial and errors to living the homesteading lifestyle. For Mel, it's a dream to work towards. For me here, it's laying the foundations, planning for the future in increments until I have here what I once had before. It's starting from scratch once again.

Terms like "I quit!, I can't do it!" and "I must be insane!" are stricken from our vocabulary. Even though at one time or other, we've both thought it. We've both invested everything into this homestead. It's far from ideal, as property for homesteading goes. It's not flat unless we grade it to be or terrace it. It's got it's own water source via a spring water creek that borders two sides of the property. This is a plus, but not always a constant in times of severe drought. there's a huge ravine behind the house which drops almost 100 feet down to the creek. Because we are on a downhill slope (100ft downward slope from the main roadway), rain water runs down our driveways toward the creek. The acreage is badly overgrown with trees.

In fact, on the property map you can't even see the roofs of the house or barn in the overhead shot of the property. We've got  really weird property lines because of a rocky ridge (50' high) to the southeast and it follows the creek bed to the north and west sides of the property. In this wintertime satellite picture you can see the roofs of the barn/workshop and the house. In the spring and summer pics the roofs are not visible. The lower part of the property line actually forms a V instead of a straight line as does the upper right edge. The property kind of reminds me of a boot (like Italy) except the heel is missing. It's cockeyed!

But as you can see, all that green is the tree coverage enormous! Boy, howdy! If we harvest one quarter of the trees, we'd be set for firewood for a decade!

But saying all of that, this is our homestead. It's bought and paid for in full. It would have helped if we were 20 years younger and able bodied. But this isn't the case with us. But we have a dream, a goal to make this into a self sufficient homestead, or at least as self sufficient as it can be. To be honest at our age, having more property just isn't doable.

So what does it take to be an actual homesteader? I dunno. Maybe just the willingness or insanity to try. A lot of hard work even with the perfect land. Having a plan with your ultimate goal in mind. A goal to make it into a homestead instead of just a piece of property. Hefty pocketbooks full of green stuff which we don't have, but still trying to fulfill our dream/goal. Be honest about your limitations. We won't be totally self sufficient, we don't have enough land with just under two acres to work with, but we'll eventually be as self sufficient as we can be.

Otherwise, we'd just be like so many of our readers and visitors...a homesteader at heart too. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And guess what, if you produce any of your own food (even if it's one stinking tomato plant), preserve your own food (even if you had to purchase it first), recycle/use up/repurpose anything, make your own stuff (crochet, knit, spin your own yarn, sew)...YOU ARE A HOMESTEADER TOO!

Y'all have a blessed day!

Cockeyed Jo

Cooking with Chef Jo: Christmas Goodies #1

The Christmas Parties!!!

Yes, it's that time of year again. Many will be going to parties and get-togethers, and will have to take food along with you. It's this time of year most diabetics hate because of all those sweet temptations available to them. So my Christmas goodies are sweet and/or savory selections keeping them in mind. Until 2012, I was an insulin dependent diabetic too and I haven't forgotten. My youngest daughter being a pastry chef hasn't forgotten either. She goes out of her way to make healthy goodies too.

Yes, some of my recipes will be death by sugar sweet, but I'll include some alternatives that are lower on the glycemic index, and healthy to boot. Ugh! Who wants to think healthy at holidays! It's the time to overindulge in everything, right? Uh, no, not when we're talking about dying. I'm talking about really dying from what you eat as in 6' underground. I've spent decades altering recipes to take everyone's health issues into consideration. Bad hearts, high blood pressures, gall bladder issues, kidney disease, strokes, cancer, diabetes, and about every medical problem you can name runs in my kin. But with a gene pool of 652 folks, it was bound to happen, right? I'd rather keep them around to live, laugh, and enjoy their company for as long as possible. Honestly only about 75 heads will attend the Christmas festivities at my father's and sister's.

But let's get started. For the next couple of weeks, I'll post a decadent sweet and a savory alternative recipe for each week so you'll get a twofer. You've already gotten two sweets under your belt with my fruitcake and my SF/GF/NF Mexican Wedding cookies recipes. So this week I'll add three more to your repertoire collection of my recipes.

Snacking Platter

Everyone knows how to put together a vegetable platter, right? Just add  add some uncured turkey pepperoni, some whole wheat crackers or use my GF flour to make your own crackers (my recipe to follow), some low fat cheese chunks and my dipping sauce (recipe to follow) to complete the platter. Notice I said low-fat cheese. The nonfat cheeses tastes yucky!

I'll include a best use date for optimum yumminess so you can make it ahead of time and know how long it keeps for. Everyone is so busy this time of year, so getting a jump start is helpful.

GF Crackers
Approx 48 crackers

What you'll need

2 egg, beaten
2 cups my GF flour, sifted
1/2 cup roasted & unsalted sunflower seeds, ground to coarse meal like corn meal
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1/8 teaspoon ground rosemary powder
1/8 tsp ground sage or rubbed sage 
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 black pepper
1 tablespoon my bagel seasoning 

Recipe for my yummy sprinkles-

1 TBS  of each dehydrated peppers-red and green for Christmas (blended coarse), dehydrated onions (blended coarse), garlic granules, coarse sea salt, coarse black pepper, white and black toasted sesame seeds, flax seeds, toasted nori/seaweed (blended coarse), dry grated Parmesan cheese, and poppy seeds. Mix well and store in air tight container. You'll only need 1 TBS for this recipe. Can be used in salad dressing, topping for breads, rolls, or bagels, or in any recipe for an extra punch of flavor. In the refrigerator, it can be stored for a month! But on the shelf, I wouldn't push it more than two weeks.

Putting it together

•  For the dry ingredients- In a large bowl whisk the GF flour, ground sunflower seeds, rosemary, sage, salt, pepper together.
• For the wet ingredients- add the olive oil to a small bowl with the eggs, mix well and add that to the dry ingredients. Mix well until the dough comes together, this will take a few minutes.
• Add a few drops of oil to your hands and spread the dough onto a piece of parchment paper. Use a rolling pin to flatten the dough into a large rectangle. Sprinkle the seasoning mix on top and continue to roll out the dough. The thinner the better to about 1/8" or 1/16".
•  Use a pizza cutter or a knife to cut the dough into 2x2 inch cracker shapes. Carefully dock the top of the cracker with a fork.
• Move squares to a sheet pan and bake for 45 minutes, or until the crackers are slightly golden, making sure not to burn them.
•  Remove from oven and allow to cool for 15 minutes and enjoy! Store at room temperature in an air tight container for up to 5 days.

Savory Heart Smart Ranch Horseradish Dipping Sauce
About 1 1/2 cups

What you'll need

1/2 to 3/4 cup fat-free buttermilk, depending how thick you want your sauce to be*
1/4 cup Duke's Mayonnaise
1/2 cup low fat cottage cheese, blended smooth
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 tsp prepared horseradish
Juice of 1/2 a large lemon freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1 TBS fresh dill, minced or 1 tsp dried
                                                             1TBS fresh parsley, minced or 1 tsp dried
                                                             1 TBS fresh chives, minced or 1 tsp dried
                                                             1 TBS fresh dill weed or 1 tsp dried
                                                             1/4 tsp garlic granules
                                                             1/4 tsp onion granules


*Notes- Start with the lowest amount of buttermilk. Let rest in the refrigerator to let rhe flavors blend. Of the dipping sauce is too thick, add more buttermilk in 1 TBS increments until the finished dipping sauce is the way you like it. It should coat the vegetables or cracker and not scooped onto them.  It can be stored covered in your refrigerator for a week. Stir it well before pouring it into your dip bowl.


Now for the sweet recipe. It's fitting that the sweet comes last, isn't it? Unless you are like my father in law who always ate dessert first so he'd have room for it. I really miss that old coot. On platters, nothing should be sized more than a bite or two. So I shrank my tiramisu recipe down to that. Although I wasn't the first one to do it and won't be the last. This sweet is labor and time intensive, but well worth it.

Tiramisu Bites

Circa 1980

with semi diabetic alternatives

Servings 36 

 

What you'll need

12 lady fingers cut into thirds

1/4 cup water

1 1/2 teaspoons instant coffee granules

1 1/2 teaspoons amaretto, divided into 1 tsp and 1/2 tsp
1 container (8 oz )mascarpone cheese
1/2 cup powdered sugar(1/4 cup Splenda & 1 tsp cornstarch blended until fine) 

3/4 cup whipping cream

1/2 oz semisweet baking chocolate, shaved or grated

1-2 bags Dark chocolate Candy Melts, melt one bag at a time as needed

Putting it all together

• Heat chocolate candy melts according to the instruction.
• Lightly spray each mini muffin compartment with vegetable oil spray.
• Brush the candy melts to each mini muffin compartment about 1/8" to 1/4" thick around the bottoms and sides. Put in the refrigerator to chill. While combining the rest of the tiramisu.
• In small bowl, mix water, coffee granules and 1/2 teaspoon of the amaretto. Dip each lady finger into the coffee-amaretto mixture.  Set on a plate to until all liquid is absorbed (about 10 minutes).
• Loosen each chocolate cup. If they break, respray after removing broken cup, remold a new one and return to refrigerator for 10 minutes. You want pretty bites.
• Place each dipped lady finger into a muffin compartment gently pressing down lightly. The lady finger should fill about half the tin.
• In medium bowl, beat cheese, powdered sugar and remaining 1 teaspoon amaretto with electric mixer on medium speed until creamy. 
• In another medium bowl, beat whipping cream on high speed until soft peaks form. 
• Fold cheese mixture into whipped cream. 
• Spoon or pipe (with a #18 star tip) a rounded tablespoon whipped cream mixture into each cup, covering each lady finger.  
• Grate semisweet chocolate over each cup. 
• Place cups into a covered container.
• Refrigerate at least 4 hours to blend flavors. Overnight is better
• Store covered in refrigerator for up to two days

(Pictured) I decorated these with mini swirled chocolate straws, but you don't have to get that fancy with them. I

found them in a specialty catalog only available to restaurant purchasers. I also used a round tip #2A to fill them, but to me the star tip makes for a prettier presentation. I've made them both ways.

So now you have three more recipes to wow your guests with during this holiday season. It's still 14 days until the big day and a lot of partying preps to do. So stay tuned for next Wednesday's party recipe selection. Need a hint? It involves a little bird we'll be raising on our homestead next year. You ponder on that. Aren't I wicked? Wearing my best wicked evil grin. The Grinch has nothing on me.

 

Y'all have a blessed day!

Chef Jo

A Doggone It Month!!!

In the past couple months it's been difficult to get anything accomplished on the homestead because of our dogs! First came Herbie who was attacked by coyotes and died. In a lot of ways we both are still mourning his loss. Until Thanksgiving, I'd look and call for him when I went out to do morning chores. With mini crashes of emotion, I realize he's gone. Mel hollered his name when she saw a rat without thinking a couple of times before it hit her that he wouldn't be coming. Yes, we really miss him.

Eleven-month old Kassity had her first, full fledged heat just a week before Thanksgiving. We knew it was coming. For a couple of days prior she whimpered when she moved and she laid almost underneath the wood stove. It reminded us of our bloating and cramping before our human cycles. We could definitely relate and extremely thankful those days are behind us. I've always let my dogs go through their first full heat and after that I've spayed my ladies. Her appointment with the vet for just that is in January. We were hoping it would settle her down some. She's just so active, goofy, and huge that she's hard to train.

Although we were told that she was a Pit bull mixed with German Shepherd/Labrador, we have a real suspicion that she's a pit bull/Great Dane mix. Her paws and body as she walks has a loping plop with each step. There's no fluidity of motion you expects with a German Shepherd. She's also not aware of her size. She tries to get under the dining room table without ducking her body down. She ends up knocking her head on the table more times than not.

On the two occasions she jumped onto my twin sized bed with me, it was either she or me that scrunched up or be knocked off the bed. It's my bed so she lost. She's finally learned not to even attempt it. But that doesn't stop her from trying to crawl into my lap while I'm seated on the couch. When I allow her to jump up on me, she can crook her elbows on my shoulders and she's a head taller than my 5' frame. AND, she's not fully grown yet!!

After Herbie's death, we started losing our free range chickens. First we lost Lil Sis, our gimpy New Hampshire Red hen. She was the sister to Gimpy, aka Broody, who survived a predator attack two winters ago. They were the last of  the hatchlings Mel did before I moved here. They held a special place in our hearts. The next day, Baby Girl, Black Butt's baby, went missing. I looked for these two hens all over the place to no avail. The third day was Houdini, aka Hoo-de-hoo our Buff Orpington rooster, but unlike the other two hens we found evidence in feathers and his body. He put up a heck of a fight.

Now we knew what was attacking our chickens. It wasn't a run of the mill predator. Only two animals kill for the sport of it...man and dogs. So we became diligent about listening to our birds. It wasn't hard because the hens took to the safety of the bunny/chicken hoop barn. They rarely came out to free range. Only Lil Red, our Rhode Island Red rooster, came out to forage, but roosted with his ladies at night. On that Wednesday, we heard a ruckus. Then I heard Mel yell, "NO, bad dog!"

Kassity had Lil Red pinned onto the ground with her mouth around his throat. She released him when Mel screamed at her. The next day, she did it again. This time she took off running away from Mel with the rooster in her mouth. She dropped him a couple hundred feet away. Lil Red was put in the hoop barn and was badly traumatized. He was bleeding from where Kassity's canine teeth punctured his neck and back. We left him in the barn to either recover or die. An hour later I went to do my late afternoon rounds, Lil Red was up with his ladies singing to them. He no longer free ranges, but stays with the hens. Twice was enough for him. We started looking for a new home without chickens for Kassity.

Two days later, we found a kitten with its throat tore open. We have abundance of strays around. But this was Kassity's final straw. She's got to go unless Mel trains the dickens out of her. But in my experience, once a dog kills for fun, they always will.They are better off destroyed. As much as I don't relish putting a well placed bullet in Kassity's skull, I will. Of course, Mel will have to dig the hole to bury her in.

So we are left with Nnyus. Nnyus tends to take her aggression out on Lila (the Rotti mixed female) and Shasha the white, female German Shepherd up the drive. She's always getting into spats with them. Most times she's the instigator by her going up there and egging them on. A few times, they've down down the drive to start trouble. Mind you it's not very often, but they will all come away bloody and torn. All the females are spayed, they are all older (over 10 years old) and it's only two or three times a year. Eventually, the owners would  pull them apart and treat their wounds. Other times, these females will get  along fine. Not play together, mind you, but ignore each other.

Now Nnyus is a pit bull mix also, but she doesn't show her aggressive side except to these two dogs and predators. She won't harm our rabbits (wild rabbits are a different story), or cats. She will occasionally tear up a squirrel, but usually she left the small stuff to Herbie. Squirrels have to really tease her for her to go after them.

Of course this being a Doggone-It month, she had to pick this month to pick a fight with Lila. You could almost feel sorry for her if she hadn't done it to herself. This time, except for assorted bite marks and skin tears, she actually unseated her left canine tooth. It was at a weird angle in her mouth as we wiped the blood away to survey the damage. Mel pushed it back in its socket. It'll either reseat itself or she'll lose it. The damage this time wasn't so great. She was really sore and stiff.

Her soft brown eyes had the look of "don't you feel sorry for me?" in them as she looks up from her blanket. Yes, we did, but she did it to herself so very little pity and consoling was given to her by us. We made sure she was warm and comfortable. We gave her aspirin for the pain and let her be. I did soften her dry dog food with beef broth to make it easier to eat for a few days. But, her tears and bites are healing fine. She's still protecting the property even though she's moving a bit slower than usual.

A homestead needs a dog. That's a fact. With Nnyus' health issues (hip dysplasia and heart worms), we've got to get another dog. So far, we've had no luck and we're running out of time. Dog gone it, we need a break.

Y'all have a blessed day!

Cockeyed Jo

Cooking with Chef Jo: Sweet Potatoes

https://wwoof.net/

Back when we had WWOOFers on our homestead, I dearly miss them, I used to cook dinner for them. It was the least I could do after we worked them so hard during the day. I took any food allergies into consideration, but the rest of the menu was up to me.

Don't know what a Wwoofer is?
According to the Wwoof website a Wwoofer is...

WWOOF is a worldwide movement linking volunteers with organic farmers and growers to promote cultural and educational experiences based on trust and non-monetary exchange, thereby helping to build a sustainable, global community.
As a volunteer (or WWOOFer as we call them) you will live alongside your host helping with daily tasks and experiencing life as a farmer.
ng. As a host farm you will open your home to receive visitors from your own country or abroad who want to connect with the land and support the organic movement.

We ran across a few like minded folks within driving distance from us. In exchange for their labor, they worked beside us on various projects around the homestead, they learned self sustaining practices, how to use basic tools, safety, canning, cooking, preserving a harvest, foraging, small livestock care, and organic principles in gardening from us. We also fed them from the fruits of homestead or locally grown food stuff.

What does all have to do with cooking with Chef Jo? I had one woman tell me after the meal prepared that she didn't like sweet potatoes, but she liked how I fixed them. This happened with several of my "guests" I tend to cook simple with a focus on flavor combinations. I usually cook meals with savory components rather than sweet for the meal. I save the sweet for dessert. The same goes for my sweet potato dishes. Unless I'm making sweet potato pie with fresh cinnamon whipped cream for dessert. For a savory taste, I'll either roast, boil, broil, or bake sweet potatoes. I could do french fried sweet potatoes but the natural sweetness in the sweet potatoes makes them almost gummy. I do not like the texture of them unless they are coated with flour before I oil fry or air fry them.

One my standard Wwoofer meals is ham, either roasted or smashed sweet potatoes, black eyed peas, oven cooked rice, corn sticks, and apple hand pies with slices of sharp cheddar cheese. The meal I had prepared this night featured smashed sweet potatoes.

Jo's Savory Smashed Sweet Potatoes
Serves 6

What you'll need

3 large sweet potatoes, baked until done and chopped into 4" cubes
1 tsp salt
1/4 c red onion, finely chopped
1- 2" piece of ginger root, minced or finely grated or 2 tsp ground ginger*
2 cloves garlic, minced or finely grated, or 1 tsp ground
ginger*
                                                             1/4 tsp white pepper
                                                             1/2 large Granny Smith apple, peeled and chopped into
                                                             2" pieces
                                                             1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
                                                             2 TBS butter

*Notes-  While I give the ground version of ginger and garlic measurements, using the real stuff tastes so much better and better for your health.

Putting it all together

•  In a large sauce pan, heat 2 tbs of butter.
• Add onions, garlic, and apples. Stir fry until onions are translucent.
• Add cooked sweet potato cubes, pepper, salt and vinegar. Cook until potatoes are heated through.
• Add remaining tbs of butter and mash with potato masher. You want a fair amount of lumpy potatoes.

Serving suggestions- sprinkle the top with chopped parsley or cilantro and an extra dab of butter.

So if you don't like sweet potatoes loaded with brown sugar, maple syrup, and marshmallows, give this recipe a try. Take a walk on the savory side of eating. You might just be surprised and inspired.

Y'all have a blessed day!

Jo