Our Mission

To live a self-sufficient and organic lifestyle for the next half century. With the Grace of God and the power of prayer, we will succeed. Nothing is impossible with His help. It wouldn't be us without laughter and joy at the Cockeyed Homestead.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Beginning to Feel Like One Woman and Two Acres

A comment last week by Amy Davis got me thinking. Mel had a previous YouTube channel, One Woman and Two Acres before I came to live with her. This is how we first met several years ago. We became fast friends. Both of us were trying to build a homestead and all. I actually had an urban homestead of 1/3 of an acre for twenty plus years with rabbits, chickens, and a organic garden. Upon meeting Mel for the first time, it just cemented the deal. I moved here after my husband's death. This was a huge step of faith because the Lord told me to come. I've put all my eggs in one basket with this move and trusted in the Lord.

Mel has had a life long problem with depression, as well as ADHD. I've dealt with both in my life. I considered it not an issue. It can be terrifying at times. Especially, some of the things that comes out of her mouth. During her dark days of winter, it's at it's worse. I've experienced it full force the past couple months. It's mainly verbal with an occasional object being thrown around. This I can handle. I just find something to do outside until her tirade is over. Then, she is spent and falls into a moody silence. I can handle this, but the feeling of being trapped isn't a comfortable one. Because it is winter with all the bad weather, often going outside isn't an option which compounds the issue.

I'm left  with all the chores. The care and feeding the animals, the shopping, paying the bills, and the cooking. All she has to do is the dishes, bring in heavier pieces of firewood that I can't lift one handed, bring the animal feed and put it in the bins once a month, and rarely get my bra out of a wad. You know, the stuff normally takes two hands or a non-impaired can do. But then, I have lifted 50 lbs of rabbit pellets and put in the bins too. It's just so much easier and faster, if she would do it. What would take me 30 to 45 minutes to strategize and implement takes her 15 minutes. Lifting a 30 lb bag of cat food, climb the stairs, and empty it into the bin...no problem. Well sort of. But a 55 lb bag of dog food? Is beyond my capability. But lately, she's even complaining about this. I'll just be glad when winter is over.

The only saving grace is our Wwoofer, Amy, and her son. When they come things get done. They are a bright spot in an otherwise dreary winter. I know, based on lasts year, Mel's depressed behavior gets better in the spring and summer.

I think a big part of what is making Mel's depression so bad is her lack of a computer. She got irritated this winter and deleted her Windows 10 from her computer. She downloaded Linux but had issues with the wifi connection. She also can't save anything so her writing has come to a standstill. All we are left with is my old desktop. It runs Windows 7 and only has 4 gig of RAM. It's okay for what I need it to do but, videos and video editing is too much. I know when I was going through a depressed state, writing was my salvation. I could escape into my own little world where I controlled all. It was okay though, everyone knew me there. :) When my house sells, I'll just have to buy a new laptop or desktop. A deal is being brokered as I type. Crossing my fingers. The buyer is getting a heck of a deal at my expense. We honestly need the influx of cash since Mel lost her job five months ago and hasn't found another one.

Well, that's my news? How has the world been treating you?

As always,
Y'all have a blessed day.

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